My Posh New Digs

I decided I was tired of the mundane comforts of my own home, so I've upgraded to a luxurious suite at Utah Valley Hospital. I'm in the penthouse - okay, so it's the 5th floor, labor and delivery unit - but Caulder thinks it's cool because we're up "weally weally high!"

I now spend my days being brought meals in bed and having my legs massaged. Sure, it's hospital food and the massage comes from these weird boot things that inflate with air to help circulate my blood and keep me from getting blood clots. But hey, guessing what's in the hospital meat loaf and counting the number of times per minute that each boot inflates is really fascinating entertainment. I know you're all jealous!

Cole ended up dragging me over to the hospital late Thursday night because I started bleeding again and having contractions that wouldn't quit. They admitted me, stuck me on a bunch of monitors, and gave me some fluids to try to hydrate my body enough to stop the contractions. That wasn't working, so I was given another shot in my Hulk-ish butt cheek, but this time it was of morphine. Within minutes I was transported to a happy place where all my limbs tingled and the only thing that mattered was sleeping. The morphine did the trick and relaxed my uterus enough that I finally stopped having regular contractions. Thank goodness.

Yesterday we met with our specialist and had another ultrasound. Things are looking a bit worse for the baby, just because my fluid levels continue to stay so low. They can barely find any pockets of fluid, which sucks. But he's still growing, so that's at least something.

The doctors are concerned that all this bleeding means either my placenta is trying to pull away from the uterine wall, which means they'll have to take the baby, or that I have some kind of infection, which means they'll have to take the baby. They've been giving me IV antibiotics to help in case it's an infection, and they'll just be watching my placenta to make sure it doesn't appear to be tearing. The specialist also gave us the very discouraging news that at this point if I go into labor, they'll assume it's because I've got an infection and won't do anything to stop it.

After that awful visit we met with a neonatologist and he proceeded to horrify us even more with the statistics for babies born at 25 weeks. I won't go into details, but it really sucked. I know it's his job to prepare us, but I sat there listening to him and wishing I had the power to make his head burst into flames. Seriously.

So yesterday was terrible. BUT... things have been better today. My contractions have almost completely stopped, the bleeding has slowed down, and all my vitals look good (which means I hopefully don't have an infection). Plus while my regular OB was visiting with me this morning he suddenly stopped what he was doing and said, "Do you hear that?" The baby's heart monitor was making a funny noise, and I said, "Isn't that just him kicking?" He told me that was actually baby hiccupping, and said that's a really good sign, because babies only hiccup in the womb when they're "breathing" in amniotic fluid. So that means he at least had a little bit around his mouth to breathe in, AND it's also a sign of lung development.

Of course, it doesn't tell us much, because his lungs could be stuck in the early stages of development, which won't help him much in the outside world. But still, it's the first positive thing we've had happen in a long time, so we're very happy about it. Who knew hiccups could be so exciting?

So it looks like I'll be spending the rest of the pregnancy at the hospital, which means if any of you feel like inviting Cole and Caulder over for dinner, that would be great. A new Taco Time just opened in Santaquin, and I'm afraid my boys will be eating crisp chicken burritos every night for dinner. Cole's actually a really good cook, but he's a carnivore - he doesn't always think about silly things like fruits and vegetables.

And a lot of you have been asking if there's anything you can do for us. We're looking for someone to potty train Caulder for us while I'm in the hospital. That's not too much to ask, right?! ;)

Really we're fine. Just keep praying this baby doesn't come yet and that he's developing lungs. We'll keep you posted on how everything's going. Thanks everyone!

An Update

We've reached our first goal! We hit 24 weeks on Thursday, which means our pregnancy is considered "viable" so they'll actually start treating the baby now. There's not much they can do for him, but they did give me steroid shots Thursday and Friday (I would attach a pic, but since they gave them to me in the hind end I thought it might cause some serious emotional damage to those of you who read this!). If by some miracle our little guy is developing lungs, the steroid shots will help push them along a bit. Plus, I'm pretty sure they're going to give me Incredible Hulk-like cheeks, so I've got that going for me.

Otherwise we're still just hanging out hoping he won't decide to put in his appearance anytime soon. We have an appointment with my regular OB on Monday and with the specialist on Friday, so we'll get a better idea of how baby's developing then. Keep your fingers crossed that my fluid levels are up and that everything else looks good with the little man.

Cole and Caulder have been very busy taking care of me while I've been on bed rest. Clearly, it's wearing them out.

Cole's had to play super dad - he's been doing all the yard work, cooking, cleaning, and child care for the past 3 weeks. He gets up early to work in the yard, then when Caulder wakes up he comes in and makes us breakfast, cleans the house, then gets Caulder ready for the day and takes him on some kind of adventure to keep him from getting bored. He's having a hard time understanding why Mom can't get up and play with him. Sometimes he'll bring me some toilet paper and say, "Here's a tissue Mommy, so now you can feel better. Can you come outside now?" It's so sad, but Daddy's been doing a good job of keeping him busy so he doesn't notice as much. They're favorite thing lately is taking trips up the canyon to run on the dirt trails.


Caulder also got another haircut. We decided to buzz him for the summer. Here are some before and after pics. (By the way, that basketball standard he's crawling through plays the role of Skeletor quite a bit when Caulder's playing He-Man. He knocks it down and beats the crap out of it with his sword, but it looks like this time Skeletor was getting the better of He-Man.)



Luckily, Kolby and Jess are in town again, too, so June's been working overtime helping us keep Caulder entertained. It had been 6 months since the last time they saw each other (Kolby's family lives in Oklahoma now while he's attending medical school), but the first time we got them together they just said smiled at each other, said hi, then ran back to Caulder's room to play toys like they'd never been apart. Now whenever they see each other they run up and hug each other, then get busy playing.

The two of them played out underneath this tree in our backyard for about 2 hours one day after Junie had a slumber party.

We've also been amazed by how many of our friends and family have been pitching in to help out with Caulder when Cole's at work. We really appreciate all of you - thanks for everything you're doing for us. The phone calls, visits, notes on the blog and especially your prayers mean so much to us.

Begging for Our Little Boy

Yep, we’re having another boy. We found out a couple of weeks ago, but I haven’t posted the news yet because I’ve been debating about whether or not to post everything else that’s been happening with us lately. But we need all the prayers we can get, so here goes…

Remember a few posts ago when I shared a little too much information and let you all know I was peeing my pants? As it turns out, I wasn’t. I went in for my 20-week ultrasound and my doctor immediately became nervous and got me an appointment with a specialist the next day. The next morning I went to Mountain View hospital for my appointment and got a level 2 ultrasound from a tech that took about an hour. After she finished the specialist came in, looked at all the pictures she’d taken, then spent another 30 minutes doing an ultrasound himself. Then he took me back to his office to deliver the news.

Apparently, I have really low amniotic fluid levels because my membranes ruptured when I was about 15 weeks pregnant. This can lead to a terrifying number of problems for the baby, from brain damage (if the umbilical cord gets compressed because there’s not enough fluid to cushion it) to compression malformations (arms, legs or face becoming deformed from holding the weight of baby’s body) to muscle and bone problems from not having enough fluid to kick in. It can also cause problems for me, because without having my membranes intact I’m at risk for getting a uterine infection, which is dangerous for me and the baby.

But the scariest and most likely complication can be lack of lung development. Babies practice “breathing” by inhaling the amniotic fluid and that’s what triggers their lungs to develop. I have such low levels that the specialist told me he doesn’t think our baby has much chance for survival. He told me we have three possible outcomes. The most likely: our little one will be stillborn. The second most likely: he’ll be born alive but only live a few minutes. The best-case scenario: he’ll be born extremely premature and live but with serious long-term health problems. Then he told me that terminating the pregnancy is an option since the outcome will be so poor and my health is at risk.

It was awful. Sorry to give all of you the terrible details, but that’s what our little guy is up against. Since that appointment , I’ve done a ton of research on this, and while it is very dangerous and the odds aren’t good, there ARE some babies who survive it. It will take a miracle, but we’ve already had some little miracles. Most women who rupture early are immediately put on antibiotics and bed rest, and they still go into labor within 2 weeks. Since I didn’t know I’d ruptured I was still exercising, lifting Caulder, smacking Cole around to keep him in line… the usual. And I’ve made it 8 weeks without any signs of labor. I haven’t developed an infection, which is pretty amazing considering the fact that I was in Mexico swimming in the ocean.

And so far at all of our appointments our little one still looks fine. He’s growing just like he should and right now has no visible problems. Ultrasounds can’t detect lung tissue, because it’s too thin, so we won’t know if his lungs are developing until he’s born, but at least everything else is looking okay.

So now comes my shameless begging: please keep our little guy in your prayers. There is absolutely nothing that science or medicine can do for this problem. They can’t put more fluid back in, they can’t patch the leak, and even steroids won’t help our baby if he’s not developing lungs in the first place. The only one who can help is Heavenly Father, so we’re begging for prayers. Please pray that his lungs will develop and that he’ll be able to keep cooking – I’m only 23 weeks right now, so it’s much too early for him to be born. Thanks everyone. We’ll keep you posted.