Tukker Talketh

Irie: Rand is just eating the sprinkles.
Me: They're straight sugar.
Tukk: They're like straight diabetes.

Tukk: Did you hear about the Spanish magician?
Me: Nope.
Tukk: Oh. Okay.
Me: Is it not a joke?
Tukk: Yeah, I just forgot how it goes.

Tukk: What happened to Dad?
Me: He got a vasectomy.
Tukk: What's that?
Me: It's so we can't have anymore babies.
Tukk: How does that even work?
Me: Men have stuff called sperm that come out of their wieners and go in the mom. If it meets with one of the mom's eggs it makes a baby. So if you get a vasectomy the sperm can't come out anymore so you won't have anymore babies.
Tukk: That's interesting, but gross. I mean, you didn't have to explain all that.
Me: You asked me!
Tukk: You could've just told me it was inappropriate for me and I'd find out when I went to college!

I like wearing this [his ratty old bathrobe]. It makes me feel rich.


Me: Go change your socks. Those are gross.
Tukk: How will everyone know I'm a hillbilly?

I just discovered toast for the first time in my life. It's amazing how toast can change your life.

I was going to have some candy, but I just worked out and I figure if I want to keep the muscles I just made I'd better have some vegetables.

Me: Do you guys need a snack before we head to the movie?
Tukk: Are we getting popcorn?
Me: Yep.
Tukk: Then nah. I'll just eat popcorn til I throw up.

My cabin group earned enough Darby Dollars that we could cash them in for whatever we wanted. We chose an adventure with Darby. My first idea: Taco Bell and Segways.

Tukk: You don't even need to have "Adventures with Darby" as an option because everything with you is the best adventure.
Darby: Thanks! I think that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Tukk: What about, "Here's a cup full of nacho cheese?"

Rand: Hey, that tower rleads the way to Yaya and Pa Babe's!
Tukk: Yeah, we could make it show the way to their museum. "Come to our amazing forklift museum! P.S. - please don't touch our flashlights."

November 2019

This November, we enjoyed Benny's amazing hair. 

Snuggled Braiden and Audrey's new baby, Calum.

Taught Caulder how to tie a tie.



Went to his Veterans Day concert.

Enjoyed our new white trash inflatable hot tub.

Finally convinced Vin to use her new bed.

Hosted our very first Thanksgiving ever. I cooked the turkey and everything!

And started prepping for the Big Guy's arrival.

Santa is coming! 

SANTA IS COMING!!!

The Buffalo Run

I decided to try running my first trail race this past summer. I've been running on the trails behind our house for years and I love it, but I've never done an actual trail race before.

These guys were my training crew. They took me up the canyon, dropped me off, and checked up on me for a bunch of my long runs.

These views show why trail running is 473,000% better than road running.

I did the Buffalo Run on Antelope Island in November. It was a half marathon, so 13.1 miles, all on a trail. Most of it was a single-track dirt trail. It was amazing.

This is me at the start, channeling my inner Cobra Kai.

I ran it with my buddy Patrick Patno. His wife was going to race with us, too, but she injured her foot a couple of weeks before the race.



Cole was crew support. He only got distracted by giant bucks a few times.



I can confirm that this hill was aptly named by Patrick.



We finished, and it was so fun!

Flag Football 2019

Tukk toughed out the FREEZING cold weather to play flag football this year.

Santaquin City was waiting for a new football field to be finished before starting the season, so they played clear until the weekend before Thanksgiving.

Luckily their coach brought a propane heater for them to warm up by when they were out on the sidelines.

I think their team tied for 2nd place. Or maybe 3rd place? 

Tukk LOVES football. And all sports, basically. He had a blast playing this year.

Selfie School Graduate

If there's one thing I'm known for, it's my incredibly beautiful, godess-like selfies. 

Because I'm such a giving and generous person, I've made it my life's work to share this gift with others. 

Benny has already mastered it.

Grandma Jan's 80th Birthday Party

For her 80th, Grandma just wanted everyone to come visit for a party. She and her band, Rough Around the Edges, performed for us. Jess and Junie performed, too, and it was amazing. 

These two spent the entire time together, of course.

And also of course - Aunt Jill stole as many snuggles as she could.

Cole sexually harassed Kolby. 

 And we made the kiddos pose for pictures. It was a quick trip, but super fun to celebrate Grandma's birthday.

The Morning After Halloween

It. Is. Terrifying.

Halloween 2019

I love Halloween. So much.

This year we saw Thriller at the Covey Center.

Went to Spooky Night at the Chieftain Museum.

Visited Jaker's pumpkin farm.

Played in ALLLLLLL the dried corn.

Forced Yaya to stick her face through this thing.

Ate a bunch of cotton candy.

Petted a donkey. And then came home with corn dust in every crevice. And embedded in our scalps.

We carved pumpkins.

I was voted Sexiest Costume of 2019 by People Magazine.

I rocked said sexy costume at work, where my boss had zero doubts about my intelligence and knew with 100% certainty that he'd hired the right person to lead his creative team with professionalism and class.

We all literally almost died over Benny's He-Man costume. I made Ry bring him to my work so I could show him off. He was a hit.

Rand came and trick-or-treated at my work, too. He was the cutest spooky ninja.

Twist and Aleah dressed up as old people.

Caulder's outfit was complete with Grandpa George's old coat and Grandpa Fred's cane.

They trick-or-treated with Mack, then came back to our house for hot chocolate because it was FREEZING cold on Halloween.

Rand made it 2 hours trick-or-treating, despite the icy temps. Oh, and he made a costume change for the evening and went as the Hulk.

Tukk dressed up as a zombie football player.

He and a huge group of his buddies got together on Halloween and went trick-or-treating, went through our neighborhood haunted garage, and also ended up back at our house. We had somewhere between 9 and 37 11-year-old boys in our basement. There was a lot of loud yelling and banging and laughing. We decided it would be best if we didn't go down to investigate. We just kept brewing hot chocolate, filled them with about a gallon each, and then sent them back home to their parents.

It was a fantastic Halloween. I loved it!