The Bedtime Revolution... I Mean Routine

Lie down in your crib and cry for a minute or two, just so they know you're not going down without a fight.

Stand up, mess with the camera for the video monitor your parents foolishly attached to the crib, and angle it in a random direction that won't allow them to see even the smallest part of your tiny body.

Lie down and contort your body into some strange position that looks completely uncomfortable because you know your mom will come in and fix the camera as soon as you fall asleep, and you want to freak her out when she sees your determination to dislocate your hip and/or cut off your oxygen supply.

Celebrate your triumph against authority with a good blankie snuggle.

Go to sleep because you've decided YOU want to. Not because your parents are making you.

Tukker the Terrifying

Tukker decided to give wrestling a go last fall. He wrestled in the ultra super mega featherweight category. 

But his lack of bulk does not equal a lack of fierce-omness. Just check out his triceps in the pic above. And you should see the dude's six pack. I would pay a billion dollars for a six pack like that.

He was a little intimidated by the pace of the meets, but once he got used to it he did great. He came home from the season-end tournament with a bronze medal. And he looks friggin' adorable - I mean intimidating - in his wrestling singlet.

I'm Obsessed

With this shady (slobbery face)....

In this hat.

My goodness, I love it.

Nerds Rule

Once upon a time a popular, devastatingly handsome, athletic boy fell hard for a plain honor roll student who actually participated on the mock trial and constitution bowl teams. This is no joke, people. The mock trial AND constitution bowl teams. 

No one could explain it, but mock trial girl somehow held a magical nerd hold over his heart. He had his concerns, but he was convinced that his superior genes would be dominant, so what harm could there be in marrying and producing offspring with constitution bowl girl?

And then one day their eldest son brought forth a summons and said, "Dad, I have something EPIC to show you."

It was his invitation to the district keyboard championship. Only a select few with mad typing skillz were invited to the competition. His father cheered and said how excited he was, but his mother could see the realization finally dawning on the poor father's face: 

Despite everything he'd ever believed, nerd genes are dominant. 

Sorry, sucka. Nerdz rule. 

Caulder made it past the first round in the championship, which means he was a faster typer than half the kids there. But unfortunately he was knocked out in the second round and didn't make it to the finals. He was still pretty excited.

We'll up our game next year. Keyboarding Champion 2017... Constitution Bowl Team Captain 2024... World Domination 2040.

Bryce Canyon

We took an impromptu road trip to Bryce Canyon last weekend. We decided we needed to go somewhere Friday at 1, and by 5 we were on the road. It takes sooooo long to pack for 3 kids. Sheesh. 

We had a late dinner at Ruby's Diner and then crashed in the hotel room, and the next morning it was rainy and foggy, but we braved the weather and were rewarded with some amazing views (after the fog cleared).

This was one of my favorite spots. It's called Natural Bridge, even though it's actually an arch.

It was the site of my favorite selfie of the trip.

This place is crazy beautiful.

Caulder told me someone should turn me in to child services for making them pose this close to the edge.

We also found proof that Bigfoot lives. Or, more likely, that the Genola Basquatch (you know, the bastard sasquatch that roams the Genola foothills) is STILL stalking me. He's had a thing for me since I hit my awkward phase in the 90s. I had gigantic front teeth, a perm, and a watermelon/banana jumper. Who can blame him?

It was a little too cold to take Rand on a long hike, but we did manage a quick loop hike. It was called Bristlecone Loop, and it had quite a bit of snow.

Still, we conquered. Some measly snow can't stop Viking Tukk. 

He also served as lookout to watch for danger on the trail. 

Rand and I brought up the rear to make sure no one got left behind. And also because he's getting chunky and I'm too old and decrepit to haul him around.

Inspiration Point. Seriously... breathtaking.

All that hiking (and getting hauled around like a lump in the BabyBjorn) is pretty exhausting. We had to sleep in the next morning. 

And Caulder refueled with cold cheeseburger leftovers from the night before. His Aunt Jess, who's been known to eat cold steak for breakfast on vacation, would be so proud.

We spent the second night in Panguitch, where Cole visited lots of times as a kid in the summers because that's where his Grandma Donna grew up. And we went on an adventure to try to find Mammoth Cave. 

It took a little guessing and some backtracking, but we found it! 

The main part of the cave is closed off because bats hibernate there all winter. We found a few sleeping in the smaller offshoots and tried not to wake them up.

We want to go back in the summer so we can explore the whole cave once the bats have moved out.

We rode home past Brian Head, which was so pretty. I've never been there before so it was fun to see. And we met a skunk who was apparently headed for the resort. I have no idea what a skunk was doing in the middle of the day in this much snow. Maybe he just can't resist the powder?

We had such a good time. Impromptu road trips rule.