Why Christmas Is Even More Awesome with a 4 Year Old Around

Who else would include Darth Vader as part of the nativity? At first this proved disastrous, because he kept “forcing” (you know, using the force on) the wise men—and sometimes even the baby Jesus—into oblivion. But then they discovered if they just play a Christmas song Darth Vader has to leave, “because bad guys hate Jesus songs.” Makes sense, right?

They tell your sister this: “Aunt Rylee, Santa came to visit my preschool. Check one: I didn’t dare sit on his lap. Check two: I didn’t dare stand by him. Check fifty-four: I did dare give him knuckles.” (This is the closest we could get him to Santa at the family party.)

They’re excellent tree decorators. Pirate Christmas trees are all the rage.

All you have to do is slap a Santa hat on a deer head and they think you’re the funniest person on the planet.

Their exuberant Christmas spirit leads them to want to help with everything, including dinner making. Salad, anyone?


In addition to offering their help in the kitchen, they also volunteer their super friends. Who wouldn’t want Iron Man helping them bake bread?


They’re so excited to deliver the bread they and Iron Man baked to the neighbors that they don’t even get upset when Dad tries to drive them up the stairs in the delivery wagon and dumps them out on their head. (Don’t worry – I was carrying Tukk at the time, and Caulder had a thick beanie on, so there were no Christmas concussions involved.)

You could only have this conversation with a 4 year old:
Me: “Do you know why we give gifts at Christmas? Because it’s Jesus’s birthday, so we celebrate it by trying to be extra nice to each other.”
Caulder: “When is Jesus’s birthday?”
Me: “On Christmas. That’s why we celebrate it.”
Caulder: “Holla!”

They get creative when it comes to leaving treats for Santa. Caulder told me we need to make pigs in a blanket for Santa, “because he’s never tried them before, and he’s going to love them!” Santa’s helpers couldn’t be more excited.

Because their Christmas spirit is motivated solely by present-getting, as evidenced when Caulder told me, “Do you know why I’m being so nice to you?” (Because you love me so much and have finally learned to appreciate everything I do for you and just want to make me happy? I foolishly thought to myself.) “Because I want to get some cool toys for Christmas!” Ah yes. Yes indeed.

And only a 4 year old could truly appreciate the spectacular Christmas light display Cole slaved away to create this year.

(Note to self: Next year, don’t harass the husband about his lack of Christmas spirit. You got what you deserved.)

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!

10 Signs You’re a M.I.L.P.

(Not MILF, you pervert, M.I.L.P. Mom Immersed in Life with a Preemie. I just made it up. I really think it’s going to catch on.)

1. You have the numbers for a physical therapist, two nurses, three doctors, and two hospitals on speed dial in your cell phone.

2. Your kid is wearing one of these.

3. Your co-workers come to you, instead of your HR department, when they have questions about how the company insurance works.

4. Your child had over 80 medical appointments in his first year home. (Yes, I kept track.)

5. During your company’s yearly benefits meeting when the very kind HR director has to discuss some “anomalies” in the company that upped the insurance usage and caused a rate raise for everyone, he doesn’t look you in the eye, because you both know he’s talking about you.

6. The secretary at your pediatrician’s office recognizes your voice over the phone and has your son’s birth date memorized.

7. You know your insurance group number by heart.

8. Your baby is almost 18 months old and still has to ride in a rear-facing car seat because he doesn’t weigh 20 pounds yet… even with a body cast on.

9. You think your kid’s a genius because he learned to crawl at 13 months old.

10. Your little one is developing some serious upper body strength from doing this:

Naughty or Nice?

This year I’m not too worried about whether or not I’m on the naughty list, because who wouldn’t want to wake up Christmas morning and find a lump of this in their stocking?

Our Oklahomies

I have some catching up to do, so forgive the long post. Two weekends ago Caulder and I flew with my mom out to see my brother’s family in Oklahoma. Their girls are 5 and 3, so they’re the closest cousins in age to my boys. And yet my brother decided to drag them away from us so he could become a doctor. Jerk.

Caulder couldn’t wait to go visit the girlies, especially because it meant he’d get to spend some time in one of his favorite places on earth: the airport. Seriously. I’ve never seen a kid get so excited to ride a bus from the parking lot to the terminals, or to watch the planes take off, or just to sit and stare out the window at the parked airplanes. This time when we were going through security I forgot to take my belt off, but luckily he reminded me. I have no idea how he remembered that. I think that means he’s spent too much time at the airport.

While we were there we went to Pops, where they have 1.5 gazillion different kinds of soda pop to choose from, and had lunch. Caulder ordered a corn dog, dropped it on the floor, picked it up, licked it clean, and finished it off. Maybe I should have stopped him?

We also went to a park and let the kiddos run wild. These three play really well together, and they play hard. There’s pirating and restauranteering and Star Wars-ing and chasing and bed jumping and lots and lots of shrieking. We miss these girlies so much I almost can’t stand it. (And we miss their parents, too.)

My big bro. In case of medical emergency, you’d feel safe calling this guy, right?

One night while we were there Caulder decided to wash his own hair. I think he used Jess’s Bath & Body hand soap in the bathroom, because his head smelled delicious for days.

And before our Oklahoma trip we had Halloween in November. Everyone was sick over Halloween, so we had to postpone the family party a few weeks. But that was good because it gave me a chance to put Tukk in his costume. He was a Garbage Pail Kid. We figured he already had the stench going for him, so might as well.

This is Caulder dressing himself up as a double Indian. I’m not sure what that is, but it looks pretty awesome. And no, this wasn’t for Halloween. He just decided writing on paper was boring, so he found a new creative medium.

We celebrated Thanksgiving with my family. My Aunt Jodi, a fabulous cook, hosted, and everything was fantastic. Especially the pie. I still dream about it. While we were stuffing our faces with fresh, hot eats, Cole was in Denver warming up a packaged Hormel dinner by setting it in hot water in the sink, because his hotel room didn’t have a microwave. Poor boy. But he had a 3-hour layover in SLC that morning, so we went up and had breakfast with him (see the pic from my last post). We even took Tukk, although we wiped the entire table down (including the menus) with a Lysol wipe to try to keep him from catching germs. I’m pretty sure our waitress thought we were whackjobs.

Tukk and Grandpa Babe

Jordan, Caulder, Connelly

And finally, Tukk got his cast changed last week. The procedure was a piece of cake. We took him to Primary Children’s and they knocked him out, cut his old one off, bathed him, and recasted him. His doc said his incision is healing nicely and his hip is still in socket. Hopefully it will stay that way when we take the cast off. I also set the date to remove it, and the very nice lady at the office informed me Tukk would have to wait an extra 6 days because the doctor’s office is closed between Christmas and New Year’s, when it’s due to come off, and they won’t take it off even 1 day early.

The look on my face must have been murderous, because without me saying a word she started apologizing profusely. I’m pretty sure if her desk had a panic button to call security she would have pressed it. I know it’s only 6 more days, but we are counting EVERY SECOND. I managed to calm down, set the appointment, and leave the office without having to be tased by security, so I think I handled the news as well as could be expected.

This cast fits a little more snugly than his last one, though, and the bar that stabilizes his legs is situated more in the back, so he’s actually been able to crawl around in this one a bit. Plus having the padding tighter is holding his diaper in better, so we haven’t had as much soakage as we did with the last one. Our butt blowdrying has been drastically reduced, and Tukker has been much less odorous. I think it’s a Christmas miracle. We might just make it to January 4.