Stuff We've Done Did

In January we took a road trip to Torrey to visit my grandparents for my Grandpa Fred's 84th birthday.Road trips, of course, require just a few treats.The pic on the right shows the view from their backyard. It is gorgeous. Plus my grandma cooks like an angel. Every time I go there I never want to leave.

My gram gave Tukk a much needed haircut. Who knew his hair could actually look cute if it was cut by a pro, instead of hacked and butchered by his mother?We've also been doing this. Not our choice. The Tukk insisted. He kept saying, "wanna sit potty." I kept telling him he was too little. I had no desire to start potty training again. Ever. But after a month of him asking I finally agreed to try it. All it took was a bag of hostess powdered donuts. The kid would sell his soul for a donut. And it doesn't hurt that he wants to do absolutely everything his big bro does. Awesome. And we had a romantic Valentine's dinner. I tried to be cute by stealing the hanging candle idea from my friend Amanda A. Have I mentioned I don't do cute? It was okay, though, because the boys were impressed. They don't care what it looks like, as long as it involves fire.Tukker really wanted to help me cook dinner. He asked for an apron and a spatula, then found a bowl and started working hard. After a few minutes he disappeared out into the backyard. After a few more minutes he came back in and said, "Mon mom. I cookin!" I followed him out back to see what culinary delight he'd concocted. He started flipping dog poops off the lawn. With my spatula. So... later that week the boys bought me a new spatula for Valentine's Day!

Tragedy Strikes

Tukker has learned how to say the word donut. There are no more dammits. Just donuts. Of all the challenges we've faced with Tukk, this is, quite possibly, the most heartbreaking.

And That's What Happens When You Marry a Boy from Santaquin

One of my friends from high school moved to Washington D.C. as soon as we graduated from college to work for National Geographic. A few years ago she moved to New York City. Her boyfriend, originally from California, has also lived in NYC for a long time. They both work for the New York Times now. They are awesome. Last month they came to Utah for a visit and stopped by the Bott household for some entertainment.

They wanted to go up the canyon, so I put my boys in their camouflage jackets, loaded everyone up in our Dodge, and let my dog jump in the back. When I started the truck up, country music was blaring on the radio. There was an empty package of beef jerky on the floorboard.

I tried to think of something to say that would make me sound sophisticated and city savvy, but before I could come up with anything, we drove past this, just a couple of blocks from my house:

My friends made me flip around so they could get a picture of it. I decided to give up on trying to sound sophisticated. I mean, my neighbors have an inflatable deer holding a shotgun in their front yard. And I wish it was mine. It. Is. Fantastic. And I realized that at this point in my life, it's time to just embrace the fact that I am a redneck, and I'm raising the next generation of rednecks.

But us rednecks done showed them city folks a helluva time, if I do say so myself. My only regret is that they weren't here for Cole's chicken fry last week. One of his buddies started raising laying hens a few months ago, but one of the hens turned out to be a mean rooster. Cole's friend decided to eat it (a very redneck decision, I must say), but since he's mostly a city slicker he didn't know how to go about it. So who did he call for help? That's right: the Bott man. Cole tucked his pants into his boots (so as not to get any blood on his "going to town" jeans, you see), then slaughtered it, gutted it, defeathered it, and barbecued it. In my backyard. While my boys watched. They were wearing their camouflage coats.

Bonding

The family that cleans together, stays together.

Because nothing brings you together like Lysoling all the toys in the toybox your 2 year old just peed in. Because you realize that individually, you're powerless to stem the tide of chaos and mess making the Lunatukk is capable of creating. Because without all of you working together (well, all of us except Tukk, who seems to be working against us), the wave of destruction would soon overcome the house, then the neighborhood, then the tri-state area, and eventually the world.

Animal Education

The other day I overheard Caulder flipping through a book with Tukker and naming the animals for him. It was very educational for all involved.

Rooster:

Puppy:

Donkey:

Sasquatch: