I Died a Thousand Deaths

While watching this happen.

It's a game called Deploy that our crazy neighbors play off the back of their boat. The boat doesn't have a propeller, so you can jump off the back while it's moving. Tukker really wanted to try it, so Cole jumped with him... while I had a heart attack on the boat.

My neighbor assured me he only went underwater for 1 second. She is - obviously - a liar. Seven eternities passed while I waited for his tiny little head to bob back up out of the wake. My mom tried to point out that it doesn't look like he even went underwater at all in the video. She's obviously delusional. It was 7 eternities. At least.

Next time we're sticking to rides on Big Mable. My nerves just can't take Deploy.

Or, even better, pizza on Big Mable with no movement at all.

These two think my paranoia is hilarious. 

Since I clearly don't have overprotective issues, Cole and I thought to ourselves, "Hey selves, what would make a 100% safe, panic-free family activity? How about rock climbing? Yeah!"

Our selves are total idiots.

So now my ulcer and I get to deal with free climbing moments like this:

And this:

And watching my children pretend they're mountain goats while they climb things like this. Do you see that tiny little blue dot at the top of the cliff? That's my baby. 

His brother climbed that same cliff in about two minutes. I could barely keep the slack out of his rope while I was belaying him because he was cruising up so fast. And he's the cautious one.

Thanks to these two, I'm pretty sure my ulcer and I are going to have a long, beautiful relationship together.