Cousin Camp 2015

After attending 7,304 birthdays last summer (most of our kids were summer babies), my side of the family decided it might be fun to just do one gigantic, mind-blowing birthday party for all the kids, all at the same time. Jess is seriously amazing at planning parties, so we put her in charge of it. Because we're brilliant. And also super lazy.

The idea morphed from a one-day bash to a 4-day rager that we named Cousin Camp 2015. And let me tell you people, it was epic. The only downer was that we were missing our two Aussie cousins. Boo! But we partied extra hard in their honor.

Prepare for picture overload.

It started with T-shirts: This is what an awesome cousin looks like.

On Wednesday night we blessed Rander, but that deserves a post all on its own.

Thursday we went "trenching," as Tukk calls it. No no, dear readers, we haven't taught our children to walk the streets in trench coats, flashing poor, unsuspecting passersby. It's actually dredging, where you hike up the river, but "trenching" makes us all giggle, so we're adopting the name.

We saw momma sasquatch wandering through the canyon. So terrifying.

Caulder found a feather and then asked me to hold it. Gross. Feathers come from birds, so they're full of disease and claw-out-eyeballs essence. 

Thursday night was animal show night. We had Wild Wonders come with a bunch of creatures and teach the kids about them. Sarah, the lady who owns the company, does such an amazing job. We LOVED it.

We got to hold baby chinchillas. Tiny, fluffy little puffballs? The cuteness was almost overwhelming.

We met a very nice skunk...

this little fox...

and my mom's personal favorite, the giant boa constrictor. I'm pretty sure it could've swallowed Tukk whole.

The bearded dragon liked to hang on to the kids' clothes.

And this guy got up close and personal with all of the animals.

Don't be fooled by the snuggly act. That bird was seconds away from pecking his eyes out.

But this? Best moment of the entire week. It was brought on by dares and taunt chanting from the children, but somehow all that bullying ended in this magnificent (and emotionally traumatizing) photo. So it was all worth it.

The kiddos had a slumber party at our house on Thursday night, which of course involved the traditional nacho breakfast Friday morning.

Friday was craft day. Yes, I had my doubts when Jess told me she'd planned a craft day. But then she said the crafts would be homemade weapons, and my job was to track down firework poppers and smoke bombs, so I knew the boys would be all in. 

And then Friday night we had the birthday party to end all birthday parties, carnival style. Jess spent months - literally - planning and sewing and PVC-piping and dollar store shopping to help turn all of our children into birthday carnies.

She actually sewed, people. SEWED. My mind can't even comprehend that sort of dedication.

This was the prize table. The kiddos earned tickets at all the game booths and then got to trade them in here. They all realized this was pretty much just for fun and didn't stress about having the exact number of tickets to pick a prize. Except Tukk. He took it very seriously. He kept running back over to play the games, yelling, "I need 10 more tickets so I can get a knife!" 

Cole and Jess finally took pity on him. Cole gave him a whole roll of tickets, and Jess said, "Tukk, we're having a sale. You can get everything that's left for 1 ticket!" He smiled so big it's a miracle his face didn't split in half. And then he sprinted for the game table like his life depended on it.

Yaya (who we've already established as a sucker for her grandchildren) bought an inflatable waterside as part of the carnival fun. They spent 3 days straight playing in this thing. 

They took each other out with the sumo boppers.

And when they got tired of bopper wars they stuffed themselves into the middle and let Uncle Cole roll them around the yard. This was a great idea, since they'd all stuffed their guts with hot dogs, cotton candy, snow cones, cracker jacks, and circus peanuts by that point. It's a testament to the strength of the Johnson stomach that not one of them barfed.

The dunking booth was also a hit. Winnie drenched Cole on the first shot, and June - with her pitcher skills - was taking everybody out.

In addition to the waterside, dunking booth, food table, gift table, and games, Aunt Rylee came as our fortune teller and Yaya was in charge of the tattoo tent. 

Rander decided he needed to up his "megit" look, so he got his first ink job. 

Tukk spent plenty of time at the food/treat table.

Caulder showed off his attitude with some sweet bling.



And Rylee and Andrew posed for the cover of Carnie Weekly.

We also had a photo booth.

Trying to keep up with an Aunt Jess birthday party is a lot for a 6 month old to take on. It takes years to build up that kind of stamina.

After the carnival was over we celebrated ALL the birthdays.

And Rander tried to eat his burning candle.

It was pretty much the greatest combo birthday party in the history of birthday parties.

Everyone should have an Aunt Jess.