The Birthday Boy

Tukk lucked out again this year. His birthday fell over the Bott family reunion, so he got double parties. The first was up the canyon at the BOG with all the Botts, and he told us we really needed to go up a day early because "nobody wants to have to wait to see the birthday boy!" 

He started the party off right with biscuits and gravy for second breakfast. That's right people. Second breakfast.

Then he somehow convinced his Aunt Karah that having to wait clear until the afternoon before opening any presents was going to kill him, so she let him open the present from her family early. It was a good thing he did, because he needed this new adventure vest for tadpole catching, bike riding, and hut building down by the creek bed.

The vest barely - BARELY - got him through until the actual party, when he got to open the rest of his gifts, eat birthday brownies and donuts, meet the pot gut his cousin Bryton caught, and roast marshmallows. It was the birthday mini rednecks dream of.

We even had magical glowing balloons to celebrate that night.

When the birthday boy passes out facedown in a plastic chair by the campfire, you know the day was a success.

The Johnson crew risked being exposed to a flesh-eating disease to celebrate with the big man at Chuck E. Cheese a couple of weeks later. Knowing there was an outbreak of hand foot and mouth disease going around at the time made touching all the games that much more exciting! Is the mouse smiling because he's making a 6-year-old's dreams come true... or because he knows everyone is going home with the necrotizing fasciitis? You be the judge.

This dude is all about flesh-eating diseases. Touch everything and then stick your fingers in your mouth? Yes please. Lie down on the floor that 73,000 kids have walked on in the past two days and no one has ever shampooed and then rub your eyes? Don't mind if I do. Drop your cupcake on the floor and pick it up to lick the frosting off it? Heck yeah! It's my birthday!!!!!

Caulder figured he'd go the extra mile to catch a disease by touching everything AND exposing his eyeballs to bacteria. 

But what's a germophobic mom to do when being in bacteria-ville brings someone so much happiness that the birthday boy jumps up on stage with the slightly horrifying animatronic dudes and air guitars like a boss? 

Drink a little of the alcohol-based hand sanitizer she's dousing everyone with to get through it, that's what. 

It was all worth it, though, because in between slightly horrifying animatronic dude performances and mandatory hand washing this plays on the TV screens:

Creepy cats. Over and over and over again. It is terrifying, and you don't understand it. But you can't. look. away.  

Thankfully, Tukk managed to save me from cat brainwashing by demanding to open presents. He was totally stoked to get this amazing Lego movie poster from June and Winnie. It holds a place of honor on his bedroom wall.

We even coughed up the extra $6 to let him do the ticket blaster. He was so excited he could barely stand it, and he was a pro at grabbing tickets and stuffing them down his shirt to keep his hands free for more ticket grabbing. He ended up earning enough tickets to get a ball that probably would've cost thirty cents anywhere else, but it was worth every penny.

Tukk loved every second of both of his birthday parties. His Aunt Rylee and Uncle Andrew even bought him a new super cape so he could stop using restaurant napkins to fight crime. Best birthday ever!

But I don't think that even Tukk enjoyed the night out at Chuck E. Cheese as much as these two lil' guys. 

Just seeing them together is enough to make any wife smile... and hope that maybe - someday - her husband will love her as much as he loves his soulmate.

But even if I can't compete with Sister Wife, at least I'll always have this guy in my life. And necrotizing fasciitis. God bless Chuck E. Cheese birthday parties.

But seriously, we love this stinking kid. So, SO much. He's totally worth cat brainwashing and flesh eating diseases, and we feel so lucky to have him. He's still just as happy, excited, and full of life as ever, and he thinks every day is a grand adventure. His smile lights up the universe, and you can't be around him without smiling and wanting to squish his adorable guts out. Happy 6th birthday Tukker man!